Don't Mess With Navy
by The Bard1
Summary: Rule number one about being a Joe...don't get on Shipwreck's bad side.
1. Don't Mess With Navy

"Out of the way…clear out of the way!" Dialtone shouted as he and Mainframe burst into the rec room, bumping into Tripwire in the process and causing him to drop the pile of magazines he was carrying.  
  
"Remote….GIVE ME THE REMOTE!"  
  
"Man, Dialtone…for someone who can't string two words together without stuttering you certainly find your voice every Saturday at this time…" Alpine grinned as he held the remote just out of his reach.  
  
"Shut up and give it to me Alpine…" Mainframe growled as he tried to grab it but Alpine was too fast.  
  
"Just give him it to him," Low Light looked up from his place at the other end of the couch and snatched the remote in one fluid motion, throwing it to Dial Tone who caught it easily.  
  
"You are such a kill joy…" Alpine harrumphed as he moved over to make room on the couch for the two Joes, who were busy flipping the channels in a mad attempt to find their show.  
  
"Space…the final frontier…these are the voyages of the starship…"  
  
"Oh god…not again!" Shipwreck moaned as he came through the door, "Isn't there something else we can watch? We need another television. If it isn't these two and the bloody Klingons, its Zooks and the Nintendo or Scarlett and those damn soaps! I never get to watch anything…"  
  
"That's a good thing…" Ace looked up from the pool table, "…last time you had control we all ended up spending the night in the brig."  
  
"I TOLD you I had no idea how that video got in there." Shipwreck grabbed a pool cue and chalked it up, "…I can't understand why Duke was so upset! 'Debbie Does Dallas' is considered a classic."  
  
"Its offensive to women…" Bazooka mumbled, not bothering to look up from his game boy…  
  
"Yeah…right…whatever…" Shipwreck leaned over the table "5 ball, corner pocket. Speaking of offensive to women, have you guys met Lieutenant Falcon?"  
  
"Oh yeah…" Gung Ho whistled from behind his newspaper, "…met him yesterday. A real piece of work."  
  
"Been chasing tail since he arrived two weeks ago…" Alpine muttered. "Dial Tone, turn it down. At this rate they can hear 'Picard' all the way down in ops. God, I'll never understand this show…"  
  
"Well…the cocky bastard has been driving me nuts. Duke's brother or no…"  
  
"My ears are burning!" Falcon entered the room with Roadblock trailing behind, "You're just jealous that I have such a magical touch with the opposite sex. What can I say, squidly…it's a gift."  
  
"You're just a kid, what can you possibly know about women?" Shipwreck sneered and then swore as he missed his shot. Ace smiled, sensing victory near.  
  
"Ask Cover Girl…"  
  
"You son of a bi…." Before Shipwreck could reply, Lady Jaye poked her head into the room and smiled.  
  
"Don't tell me it's Star Trek night already? Dial Tone…I need you in ops right after you finish here."  
  
"Sure…yeah yeah…" Dial Tone waved her off, concentrating completely on the TV. Jaye frowned and shook her head.  
  
"What is it with that show?" she wondered aloud, turning to leave.  
  
"Is there anything I can do to help?" Falcon was up, flashing her one of his winning smiles.  
  
She paused and stared at him for a moment. She had not yet met the new guy, having been away on a mission when he arrived. He was nothing if not good looking…Eye Candy.  
  
"Mmmm…no. But thanks for offering."  
  
With that she was gone, leaving Falcon staring at her retreating form, his eyes alight.  
  
"Who is THAT? She is HOT."  
  
Low Light looked up from the TV. "That's Lady Jaye, and I wouldn't go there if I …"  
  
"She's out of your league Falcon." Shipwreck interrupted Low Light before he could finish his sentence. "You wouldn't have a chance."  
  
"Really? I think not." Falcon looked over at the sailor and grinned. "In fact, I saw the way she looked at me. She wants me."  
  
"Ummm…I really think…" Ace began, but again Shipwreck interrupted, an evil glint in his eyes.  
  
"Well, she does have a thing for men in berets…"  
  
"Is she single?" Falcon asked, adjusting his hat.  
  
"Yes." Shipwreck replied quickly.  
  
At his words all the Joes in the room stopped what they were doing and stared at the sailor in shock. Even Dial Tone and Mainframe had turned from the television and were staring open mouthed at the two Joes near the pool table.  
  
"Really…" Falcon grinned and stared out at the hallway down which Lady Jaye had disappeared.  
  
"Forget it. Even your so called 'magic touch' wouldn't work on her."  
  
"Watch and learn old man…" And with that he was gone.  
  
"Shipwreck!" Ace grabbed him by the arm, "ARE YOU INSANE!? Do you realize what you just did?"  
  
"I didn't do anything, fly boy. I just told him the truth. He doesn't stand a chance, and technically, she IS still single…"  
  
"Technically…" Low Light muttered, "…you forgot to mention Flint."  
  
"Details, details…" Shipwreck laughed and chalked his cue before leaning over the table.  
  
"You realize, of course, when Flint finds out he is going to rip the guy another ass hole." Alpine shook his head in astonishment.  
  
"If he moves on Jaye, my man Flint is going to make him pay." Roadblock rhymed, nodding his agreement.  
  
"Call it a friendly 'initiation' to the Joe team." Shipwreck sunk the eight ball in one clean shot.  
  
"Friendly?" Gung Ho mumbled, "Flint might be shy around Jaye herself, but he certainly ain't when it comes to defending what he sees as his. I give Falcon 2 days before he is in traction."  
  
"Less than that," Mainframe stood up, "I say 24 hours."  
  
At that, the Joes in the room all lapsed into an intense silence. They stared at each other, each lost in their own thoughts, before all rushing forward at once.  
  
"Ten bucks on 24 hours before he is scrubbing the latrines!"  
  
"20 dollars on 48!!!!!"  
  
"Forget it, bub…I bet it all on 5 hours. And not in the Latrine, in the infirmary!"  
  
Shipwreck merely stood the side, smiling to himself. Those Army brats never learn…old man or no…you just don't mess with Navy.  
  
************************************************************************ 


	2. Semper Fi

"Man…it's WAY too early in the morning for this." Shipwreck shielded his eyes from the bright light of the sun as he made his way to the track with Torpedo and Wetsuit.  
  
"Hey…you were the one who insisted on joining us on our morning warm up." Torpedo flashed him a brilliant smile, "I believe 'Seal-Schmeal…let this old sailor show you how it's done' were your exact words."  
  
"I was DRUNK!"  
  
"You're ALWAYS drunk on Saturday night…" Wetsuit grunted, "You're just letting that loud mouth Falcon get to you…"  
  
"Hey…he isn't just dis-ing me…he's dragging the Navy's good name through the mud as well."  
  
"Army…man, those guys never take a hint…" Torpedo waved as he noticed Gung Ho and Leatherneck already in the field, stretching. "Jarheads!"  
  
"Squids!" Leatherneck nodded his head in greeting. "Shipwreck…didn't expect to see your creaky old bones out here this fine morning."  
  
"You are way too cheery in the morning, you know that Gunny?"  
  
"Ah…its all in the caffeine." Leatherneck smiled and indicated the huge thermos of Java sitting next to him, "What's got you up, Sailor? It's not like you to exercise…"  
  
"Falcon…what else," Torpedo grinned as Shipwreck threw him a patented sea dog scowl.  
  
Leatherneck chuckled. "There's another one I was surprised to see up this early."  
  
Shipwreck cocked his eyebrow. "He was here?"  
  
"Oh yeah. You just missed him. He just took off after Lady Jaye…she is doing her morning run. The guy is going to have a coronary trying to catch up to her."  
  
Leatherneck frowned as Shipwreck's smiled evilly, "Oh…I know that look. What are you up to now Shipwreck? You aren't taking that kid's tough talk seriously are you…"  
  
"Pfa! That smug little bastard is going down…its all a matter of time." Shipwreck turned as he noticed two figures coming towards them, smiling as he recognized the beret-clad man in the lead, "…and so it begins."  
  
"Men!" Flint called out a greeting as he approached, Wild Bill trailing along behind him, both looking particularly worn and grubby from their weeklong mission.  
  
"Flint…Wild Bill…" Gung Ho smiled up from his stretching, "Good to have you back…"  
  
"Good to be back." Wild Bill tilted his Stetson, "I reckon a hot shower and a warm soft bed would do me a world 'o good right about now. I hurt in places I never knew existed."  
  
"I hear you Bill, go ahead, you're dismissed." Flint smirked and turned to Leatherneck.  
  
"You don't happen to know where I might find Lady Jaye? I have to…ummm…brief her on the situation."  
  
"More like DE-brief her…" Shipwreck mumbled.  
  
"What was that Sailor?" Flint's head whipped around and fixed him with a glare that would have brought Cobra Commander to his knees. Oh boy, Falcon is going to die. Maybe this whole thing isn't such a good idea…  
  
"Oh…Uh…I was just saying that she went for a jog this morning…" Then again, the kid has it coming, and let it not be said that Shipwreck is one to give up so quickly  
  
"…with Falcon."  
  
To his right, Leatherneck spit up his coffee in shock and began to cough, Gung Ho slapped him on the back to clear his airway.  
  
"WHAT?!" Shipwreck took an involuntary step back at the force of Flint's voice.  
  
"Shipwreck…" Torpedo hissed quietly, "She didn't go with him…he followed her. You aren't supposed to influence the outcome, it will throw off the entire pool!"  
  
"Would someone PLEASE tell me what the hell is going on?" Leatherneck's voice boomed through the ensuing silence.  
  
"Yes, Shipwreck…please do." Flint growled.  
  
"Oh…well…see…ummm…HEY…speak of the devil…here she comes now!" he chuckled nervously, thanking God that the woman was a fast runner.  
  
"Flint!" She smiled at him, "You're back! We missed you…"  
  
Flint's face softened immediately as she approached, forgetting Shipwreck, Falcon…everything. He smiled at her, his voice soft and awkward…"Its nice that I was missed…by my buddies…I mean" He took off his beret and nervously ran his hand through his hair "…and you…of course…cause you're my buddy as well…"  
  
Lady Jaye smiled radiantly and Flint blushed.  
  
"So…what are you doing later? I thought we might get together over lunch and talk about us…" As Jaye's eyes widened, Flint spluttered and continued, "…to go over the mission I mean. The one we are going on…together…"  
  
"Boy…this is almost painful to watch." Wetsuit commented, his voice low.  
  
"How long has this been going on, again?" Torpedo asked, shaking his head as he watched the two turn and head in.  
  
"Too long." Leatherneck turned to Shipwreck, "Gung Ho told me what's going on, Squid…I don't think this is such a great idea. I mean…look at them." He gestured at their retreating forms and they all turned in time to watch Flint trip over his own feet. So intent was he in watching his partner that he forgot to look where he was going. "Flint is having enough trouble without throwing Falcon into the mix."  
  
"Don't worry, Gunny…I have a plan."  
  
"That's what I'm afraid of. As your superior officer I think it's my job to…"  
  
"HEY FALCON!" Gung Ho shouted as the sweaty lieutenant came jogging into view, "YOU HAD BETTER SLOW DOWN BEFORE YOU HURT YOURSELF!"  
  
"This…is…nothing…" he said between breaths as he stopped and leaned over to catch his breath next.  
  
"Really…" Leatherneck grinned. "…I warned you that she was fast…"  
  
"For a Marine maybe." Falcon commented, "You would never hear a Green Beret complaining."  
  
"I don't know. I remember you crying like a baby on that obstacle course I sent you through last week." Leatherneck leaned back and put his arms behind his head.  
  
"It was tears of laughter at how easy it was…you Marine's wouldn't know a course if it bit you in the six."  
  
"Is that so…" Leatherneck frowned, "I can certainly liven things up for you if that's your game? Come to think of it, aren't you due for a refresher?"  
  
"No can do, Jarhead. Waste of my god given talents. And anyhow, I have bigger fish to fry…now where did she go…"  
  
Leatherneck's eyes glinted as he considered the 'boy' standing before him. "She went to shower. You might be able to catch her in the mess for breakfast."  
  
"Ah…back to the chase then…" With a mock salute, Falcon was off.  
  
Shipwreck smirked. "I take it your in?"  
  
"20 bucks says he doesn't make it through the day now that Flint is back."  
  
Gung Ho smiled, "This will make him think twice before poo-pooing the Corps."  
  
Leatherneck merely nodded and got up to start his work out, turning to the Shipwreck and the SEALS with a grin.  
  
"Semper Fi, boys…Semper Fi…" 


	3. Aim Higher

"Nothing like a big hearty breakfast after a hard workout!" Leatherneck exclaimed as he dropped his heaping tray onto the table and crashed down into the chair.  
  
"You said it, mon ami" Gung Ho agreed as he sat next to him, an equally full plate gracing his tray.  
  
"Is food all you Marine's ever think of? " Ace shook his head in wonder. On his tray was a fruit salad.  
  
"That, fighting and sex…" Leatherneck laughed, "And not in that order. The food is just fuel for the other two. You should try it Ace…it would give you more stamina with the ladies than that rabbit food of yours…"  
  
"I don't need stamina…quality, not quantity is my motto."  
  
"Really," Torpedo looked up from his paper, " I thought they called you Zoomies cause you flyboys were so quick to…"  
  
"Would you idiots cut it out!" Deep Six frowned, cutting Torpedo off "Some people are TRYING to eat here."  
  
"Man, I didn't know you were such a prude, Six." Torpedo shook his head.  
  
"I don't know, Torpedo…in my experience it's the quiet ones who are usually the best in bed."  
  
For the second time that day, Leatherneck ended up choking on his coffee.  
  
"JAYE!" Roadblock exclaimed in astonishment. Deep Six had turned crimson and Ace was laughing so hard he nearly fell off his chair.  
  
The woman merely smiled mischievously and winked at the diver, whose eyes began to frantically search the room.  
  
"My god, you ARE a prude!!" Lady Jaye laughed as she gracefully sat herself down, putting her bowl of cereal and grapefruit on the table in front of her, "What in the world are you looking for? Has COBRA infiltrated the mess?"  
  
"He's looking for your partner…" Shipwreck supplied as he sat down across from her.  
  
"Flint?"  
  
"Six foot two, eyes of blue, look at my girl sideways and I'm going to kill you…" Roadblock hummed.  
  
  
  
"Ok…'A' he's not like that and 'B' I'm not his girl…" The Joes around the table rolled their eyes in unison.  
  
"Remind me why I sit with you guys?" she sighed and began to pour some milk on her cereal.  
  
"Pass the salt."  
  
"Salt!" Roadblock spluttered, glaring up at Shipwreck from his place across the table "You had better reconsider your request dude, before you insult this chef's food!"  
  
"Oh come on," Shipwreck grunted as he reached over and snatched the salt himself, "Why do you always take this stuff so personally?"  
  
"Food is my life and my art," the big man sighed and shook his head as he watched Shipwreck re-season his omelet, "Why do I even bother wasting my talent on an old sea fart."  
  
"That's MISTER sea fart to you!" The old sailor grinned and winked, "I salt everything, Roadblock. Comes from spending so much time on the ocean. Sea spray coats everything…gets to the point you can't taste anything without a good coating of the white stuff."  
  
"Either that or your taste buds are slowly dying…" Wetsuit quipped as he planted himself down next to the sailor, "…age does that."  
  
"Funny…very funny…you know what you need SEAL-boy? You need a good swift kick in the…" Shipwreck paused and looked up mid sentence, his eye drawn to the figure making his way into the mess and towards their table.  
  
"Oh goody, front row seats…" Mainframe rubbed his hands together in anticipation.  
  
"Men…" Flint placed his tray in the spot next to Lady Jaye and smiled shyly at her, "…and Lady"  
  
"I thought you were going to get some sleep." Jaye looked up at him, concern in her face.  
  
"Can't…jet lag…" he sat down "And in any case, I wanted you…" The entire table froze and Flint's eyes grew wide, "I mean…I wanted to see you…I mean talk to you…"  
  
"FLINT!" Dukes authoritative voice carried across the room, "Come over her for a sec. I need you to look at something."  
  
With an expression of 'saved by the bell' relief etched across his face, Flint flew up and sped off towards his CO as fast as his feet could carry him, leaving a very confused Lady Jaye in his wake.  
  
"Rhodes Scholar, eh?" Wet Suit asked.  
  
"Yup." Shipwreck answered as he continued to eat his eggs.  
  
"What is with the Joe men lately?" Lady Jaye asked incredulous, "I've known Flint for two years and lately he can't string two words together around me, every Joe I meet keeps staring at me and looking at their watch and to top it all off that new guy has been following me around like a puppy since I met him last night…"  
  
"Don't look now, Jaye…but it seems that puppy has found you again." Gung Ho smirked as Lt Falcon approached their table.  
  
"Squids…Jarheads…" he turned and flashed Lady Jaye a brilliant smile, "Beautiful lady…"  
  
"Falcon, I…" but before she could even begin he sat himself down in the seat next to her and pushed Flint's tray over to the side. The others looked up just in time to see Flint's eyes narrow as he noticed what was going on from across the room.  
  
"Hey Ahab…" the Green Beret turned to Shipwreck and with a grin threw him a small bottle. The sailor caught it easily.  
  
"Advil?"  
  
"I thought you might need some after your workout this morning…"  
  
"You did, did you? I think you are going to be needing these back when I get through with…" Shipwreck stopped as Mainframe whacked him on the back of the head.  
  
"Cut it out, squid…stick to the plan."  
  
Falcon, meanwhile, was no longer paying attention. He had turned to Lady Jaye and was in the process of sidling up closer to the female Joe.  
  
"So. What are you doing later?"  
  
"Same thing you are doing…hand to hand exercises with Beachhead and Quick Kick."  
  
"No…I mean tonight."  
  
"Tonight?" Lady Jaye stared at him in surprise, so completely thrown for a loop that she failed to notice Flint making his way back towards the table. Nor did she notice the room suddenly go very still.  
  
"I thought we should spend some time getting to know each other better seeing that we are going to be working closely together." The word 'closely' was said in a very suggestive tone.  
  
In the background, Torpedo began humming the melody from TAPS.  
  
"Closely, eh…" Lady Jaye's eyes narrowed, a sign to those who knew her to watch their step. At that moment, though, Flint appeared behind her.  
  
"Falcon…" he growled.  
  
"In a minute," Falcon waved his hand dismissively at the Warrant Officer, "Can't you see I'm talking to the lady?"  
  
He turned back to Jaye, missing the tell tale sign that Flint was about to loose it, clenching and unclenching his fists in attempt to regain his composure. "So…is it a date? You, me, a romantic…"  
  
"FALCON!"  
  
But before Flint had a chance to lunge forward an alarm rang out through the building. In an instant, all the Joes, even Falcon, snapped to attention and began racing towards their battle positions.  
  
"So close…so close…" Gung Ho moaned as he and the others made their way to ops, having realized that the Marines were now out of the pool.  
  
"You win some you loose some." Ace laughed as he turned down the hall, heading towards the airfield. "I, on the other hand…never loose."  
  
"Don't get cocky, flyboy…" Torpedo shouted at his retreating form, "We have the whole day ahead of us…and by the look on Flint's face just then, I don't think we are going to have to wait much longer."  
  
"Cocky, eh?" Ace stopped and smiled, a glint in his eyes, "I'll show you cocky! Double or nothing…squid…"  
  
"Double or…" Torpedo paused to consider the large amount of money that stood to be gained…or lost. But before he could answer, Shipwreck cut in  
  
"You're on!"  
  
"Are you nuts? That's almost a month's salary!"  
  
Ace merely winked as he sped off towards the Sky Strikers, "Aim Higher I always say…"  
  
"I hope you know what you're doing Shipwreck." Wetsuit glared at him as they entered ops.  
  
Shipwreck merely grinned, "Where is your Navy pride, kid. Don't worry…if I know Flint, and I do, we have this in the bag." He paused as he pocketed the pain-killers Falcon had given him. "I fact, I think someone is going to be needing these babies back before the sun goes down."  
  
He looked over to where the two Beret clad Joes were standing on either side of Lady Jaye, the expression on Flint's face unreadable but deadly.  
  
"Maybe even sooner than that." 


	4. Battle of the Berets

"FALCON AND DIALTONE!"  
  
"Sir!" The two soldiers jumped at the sound of Beachhead's voice, startled out of their conversation.  
  
"Is there something you two yahoos would like to share with the rest of the Joes?" the ranger stood with his arms crossed in the middle of the field, tilting his head to indicate the thirty or so soldiers surrounding him, all dressed in sweats and tee shirts, enjoying the warmth of the midday sun.  
  
"No…nno sir." Dial tone stuttered.  
  
"Are you sure? It seemed pretty important."  
  
"Not really sir,"  
  
"Not really…NOT REALLY…and yet you chose to interrupt me and disrupt this training session for something no one really needs to know about."  
  
Falcon flashed his winning smile, "Unless they want to know of my progress with a certain…"  
  
"SHUT UP FALCON! Just for that you are going to be first up…now where was I? Oh yeah…quarterstaffs."  
  
"Ooo…time to get medieval on your ass, Bazooka" Alpine laughed as he clunked the big man on the head with the large stick he was holding.  
  
"That's enough goat-boy! Unless you want to be scrubbing the latrines with a toothbrush for the rest of the week!!!!" Beachhead barked and the mountaineer settled down immediately, "Honestly…insubordinate troops, parrots setting off the perimeter alarm! It's a wonder COBRA hasn't overrun our sorry butts by now!"  
  
He sighed and shook his head.  
  
"Quick Kick…you want to explain what we are doing today?"  
  
"Okalee Dokalee Rangerino," The handsome Asian man stood up, mimicking the popular Simpson's character with ease before addressing the crowd in a more professional tone.  
  
"We are going to delve do something a little different this afternoon…" he bent to pick up a staff from the rack and twirled it expertly while he continued to speak.  
  
"This is a weapon whose use predates written history. As a combat form, the use of the quarterstaff requires coordination of eye, hand and body and mind."  
  
"This is an extremely versatile weapon, it can be used as freely as a soldier wishes. When used to strike or hit it becomes a sword, when used to thrust it becomes a spear. Strikes and thrusts can be from either side of the body." As he spoke he went through all the movements described with grace and skill. "This makes it very difficult for any opponent to respond quickly to attacks as it can change easily from side to side, and from thrust to strike without pause…"  
  
"Yeah…" Gung Ho piped up from the audience, "…all fine and good until a Viper comes up behind you with an uzzi."  
  
"Says the Cajun who got his ass kicked by Lady Jaye last week." Quick Kick smiled as the rest of the Joes broke into laughter. "You had an M-16 and she had one of her javelins if I remember correctly…"  
  
"Oh…man…I forgot about that!" the marine grinned. "Touche…"  
  
"So…as you can see…these babies, when used correctly, pack quite a wallop. Which is why we are going to be using protective padding on the…"  
  
Quick Kick's voice faded to the back of Shipwreck's consciousness as Falcon came to sit next to him, Scarlett and Cover Girl.  
  
"Ladies…" He smiled in greeting, winking at the sailor as he lowered himself to the ground.  
  
"Falcon. What a surprise…" Cover Girl commented sarcastically, "…haven't seen you around the woman's locker room in a while."  
  
"Cover Girl…I'm insulted! Do you think I would be so crass as to peep in on my sisters-in-arms?"  
  
"So it wasn't your beret we saw in the window?" Scarlett narrowed her eyes in mock disbelief; "I guess it was Flint then…"  
  
"Hey…you never know? Our third in command seems to have some major issues lately…" Falcon laughed quietly so as not to interrupt the class, "…I thought you ladies should be aware that you are in for a disappointment."  
  
"Really? How so?"  
  
"I am currently 'involved' with another woman."  
  
Shipwreck smirked and elbowed Torpedo…shifting his head to indicate Flint, who was standing only a few meters away. Although he looked to be paying close attention to the demonstration, the slight narrowing of his eyes indicated that his interest was on the little scene taking place right next to them.  
  
"Another woman?" Cover Girl's hand flew to her forehead in a dramatic gesture, "I'm crushed!"  
  
"Very funny, Courtney…laugh now…but I swear you girls don't know what you're missing!"  
  
"I think we have some idea…" Scarlett muttered under her breath, trying not to laugh. "…so who is the lucky girl? Is it someone we know?"  
  
"In fact it is…its Lady Jaye…"  
  
"WHAT!" Both Cover Girl and Scarlett yelled in unison, forgetting where they were. The entire class stopped and turned to see what was going on.  
  
"Are you nuts…" Scarlett hissed as she watched Flint's face as he walked towards them, "…you can't be seriously considering…"  
  
"Ah…Red…you're just jealous. The girl wants me! And once she has had a tasted the Falcon she will never want another… "  
  
"Falcon…I really think you should…" Cover Girl was pulling on his tee shirt sleeve, trying to get his attention. Flint was practically on top of them.  
  
"…Mark my words. I will have her in bed before the week is out…"  
  
"GET UP FALCON!" His name came out a threatening growl from Flint's mouth. Falcon rose …expecting to be chided for interrupting class again.  
  
"I'm sorry Flint. I will be quiet this time, I promise. You know what its like…bragging about the ladies and all…" The lieutenant grew confused as Flint's face clouded over.  
  
"Oh come on, Duke tells me you were quite the gigolo in your youth."  
  
"In my youth…" Flint hissed, but Falcon continued to ignore the warning signs.  
  
"…and Lady Jaye is hot. I mean you work with her…can you imagine what she is like in…"  
  
"ENOUGH!"  
  
"What? What did I say?"  
  
Flint merely threw a quarterstaff at him, which he caught easily.  
  
"YOU…in the field…NOW!"  
  
Shipwreck was grinning wildly as the beret clad Joes made their way to the center of the clearing. The rest of the team were all on their feet surrounding them, cheering as the two men removed their shirts and took up their sparring positions. Quick Kick was yelling something about padding, but was completely ignored as the two soldiers began to circle each other.  
  
"How come I have a strong suspicion you have a lot to do with this Shipwreck?" Scarlett turned to the old sailor, who was busy checking his watch as he and the other squids gathered to cheer Flint on.  
  
"Moi?" Shipwreck clutched his heart, "You wound me, madame!"  
  
"Don't give me that innocent look Sailor…you have had it in for the guy since he came through the gates. Sure he's a pain in the ass but …"  
  
"Oh…my…god…" Covergirl sighed.  
  
"What?" Red turned her head and froze, her mouth dropping open at the sight before her.  
  
Flint and Falcon stood face to face in the grass and sun, clad only in their grey army sweatpants and dog tags.  
  
"mmmmm…." Cover Girl licked her lips "Nice…"  
  
Flint looked every part the warrior as he stood in the sunlight. Scars crisscrossed his hard, muscular body…thin white lines against his sun- browned skin…a testament to battles fought and won. He carried himself in a way that suggested readiness…just a fraction of a second away from swift reaction. He had the look of someone who had seen and weathered a great deal and understood that loss of control was a soldier's worst enemy. There was an enormous calm in his face as he watched his opponent prepare himself…one that belied the storm in his blue eyes.  
  
Falcon, on the other hand…presented quite the contrast. His young, muscular body perfect…smooth, his body strong. His eyes sparkled with confidence, his face sported an easy smile. He shifted his weight from foot to foot in anticipation of what was to come, self-assured and certain of his abilities and skill. He moved with the grace and subtleness of youth, with an ease that indicated that his confidence was not misplaced.  
  
"Oh boy…" Scarlett sighed, her eyes locked on the two men, "Lady Jaye is going to be one satisfied woman when she finally gets Flint to her…"  
  
"Hey! Enough of that!" Wet Suit exclaimed, "And you guys complain that we are sexist…listen to yourselves! You two are practically drooling…"  
  
He was interrupted by a loud crack as Flint and Falcon engaged in battle. They thrust and parried with amazing speed, stopping to circle each other every so often in order to gage each other's strengths and weaknesses.  
  
On and on it went, each fighter getting in some substantial hits, both standing strong, neither backing down. Around them, the Joes were screaming and cheering, egging them on.  
  
"Falcon's not bad…" Wetsuit commented as the young officer managed to land a sharp blow on Flint's arm.  
  
"Flint's just toying with him." Shipwreck commented, " I can tell he's holding back."  
  
"He won't land the killing blow," Roadblock shook his head, "He won't hurt his best friend's bro…"  
  
"Oh man…he isn't going to back out now!" Torpedo moaned as Ace came up next to him.  
  
"Ah…I smell victory in the air." Ace flashed his winning fly-boy smile, "I would like my winnings in small bills please."  
  
"Don't count Navy out just yet." Shipwreck grinned, "I think our trump card just arrived."  
  
"What the hell is going on here?" Lady Jaye ran up to where they were all standing, glaring at the two men in the ring…at one of them in particular. "What are those two goofballs doing? Is that blood?"  
  
"I see you've been busy, Jaye." Cover Girl smiled and patted her fellow female Joe on the shoulder, "I honestly didn't think you had it in you."  
  
"Didn't think I had 'what' in me? What are you talking about?"  
  
"Stringing two men along…"  
  
"What?!"  
  
"Those two goofballs, as you so aptly described them… "Scarlett sighed, "…are up there fighting over you."  
  
"WHAT!!!!"  
  
At the sound of her voice, Falcon turned and smiled in her direction.  
  
"Hey there lover, come to cheer me on?"  
  
"LOVER?! THAT DOES IT!!!!" Flint roared.  
  
Whatever restraint Flint had shown in the beginning was gone. He poured it on, pushing the other Joe further and further back…forcing him on to the defensive…moving the staff with speed and skill that the inexperienced lieutenant couldn't hope to match.  
  
The crowd went wild. Over the din, Flint's voice could be heard as he growled between blows.  
  
"You will…treat your elders…with the respect they have earned!" He landed a jab on Falcon's side.  
  
"You…will…learn…to respect…the female members…of this team!" Flint swung around and slammed the staff into his opponents arm.  
  
"And most of all…" he paused as he watched the young man stagger in front of him.  
  
"HANDS!"  
  
He blocked Falcon's retaliatory attack easily….  
  
"OFF!"  
  
…swinging his weapon around in a flash, knocking the man's staff out of his hands.  
  
"MY!"  
  
Then, in one fluid movement, he knocked the young officer off his feet…  
  
"GIRL!"  
  
…and brought the quaterstaff around, stopping it suddenly…the butt mere inches from Falcon's throat.  
  
"Your…gulp…girl?" Falcon's moaned as he struggled to catch his breath, having had it knocked out of him when he fell.  
  
"YOUR GIRL?!" Lady Jaye yelled. Flint flinched, his eyes growing wide with fear.  
  
"Go Navy, Go Navy, Go Navy…" The squids were chanting and dancing in the background as they celebrated their win.  
  
"Ummm guys…" Dialtone spoke, his quiet voice barely breaking through the raucous laughter.  
  
"Well…Ace…" Wetsuit grabbed the sullen pilot by the shoulder, "I think I would like my winnings in small bills."  
  
"Guys…" the communications expert tried again…this time a little louder.  
  
"So what do you say my fellow sailors…a night on the town is in order I think…" Shipwreck was grinning wildly, "Drinking, dancing, pretty girls…"  
  
"GUYS!" Dialtone yelled at the top of his lungs, and this time the others turned to him.  
  
"You might want to look at this before you start celebrating." He handed them a print out.  
  
"What are you going on about, Spock…" Shipwreck grabbed the sheet and began to read it, his eyes growing wide as he did, "I don't fucking believe it!"  
  
"What? What?" Torpedo crushed in next to him, straining to see what had the old sailor glowering.  
  
"Oh my god, " Ace laughed, "This is just too good…"  
  
"Is that even legal?" Wetsuit asked.  
  
"This is a betting pool, stupid." Shipwreck snapped, "Nothing about it is legal…"  
  
"Hey, don't take this out on me!"  
  
"God…can this possibly get any worse!?"  
  
"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON OUT HERE!"  
  
"Ummm…I think you just got the answer to that question squid."  
  
In the distance, a very angry General Hawk was making his way across the grounds towards them, an equally pissed Duke in tow. 


	5. An Army of One

"…this is a elite anti-terrorist force, not some university frat. The entire immature, irresponsible, unbecoming incident is an embarrassment to this outfit. What in the hell possessed you? Grown men, soldiers, officers some of you…this is a TEAM…you do not haze one another…you do not set Joe against Joe and then bet on the outcome…"  
  
"I can't believe he still going…" Shipwreck whispered as he glanced at his watch. The offending Joes had all piled into Hawk's office and were presently cowering in the corner.  
  
"We're dead." Wetsuit moaned. "I haven't seen him this livid since you and Footloose threw that party in the mess hall the night that the Joint Chiefs of Staff came for a tour of the base."  
  
"Or since Mainframe was caught using the main server to play DOOM." Dialtone shuddered.  
  
"It wasn't as bad as when you tried to have the Star Trek convention here and Hawk found a replica of a Romulan War Bird in his parking spot." Mainframe countered.  
  
"Shut up, you two…you want to get us all into more trouble?" Leatherneck growled.  
  
"This from the man who was once streaked naked through the mess hall." Mainframe harrumphed.  
  
"This is the LAST time I get involved in one of your little schemes, Shipwreck." Gung Ho sighed as he warily watched Hawk pace around the room.  
  
"That's what you said last time…"Torpedo laughed softly, " and the time before that…"  
  
"Would you look at Duke." Ace hissed, "He is so mad he hasn't said word yet. He is just standing there glaring. It's freaking me out."  
  
"Freaking you out?" Falcon's nasal voice cut in, Flint having broken his nose during 'the incident', "He is glaring at me! I don't know why I am even here…I am the victim!"  
  
"Victim…hah…" Shipwreck snorted, "You started this whole thing, kid. You should know better than to go after Lady Jaye…"  
  
"YOU told me she was available…"  
  
"…did I lie? No. If you had taken your head out of your ass long enough to look around you might have noticed that Flint is a bit protective of her…"  
  
"A bit protective?" Falcon's voice rose of its own accord, "A bit protective?!! The man is INSANE! He could have killed me…and you made a profit out of it."  
  
"No he didn't." Ace snickered. "Our resident schemer was out-schemed."  
  
"Shut up, Ace."  
  
"Well at least something positive came out of this, " Falcon attempted to smile, a horrific thing given his battered condition, "That and the satisfaction of knowing that Flint is going to kick your six as soon as he finds out you are behind this."  
  
"Flint is my buddy…he would never lay a hand on me." Shipwreck's voice didn't sound very confident, and his face revealed his anxiety.  
  
"SHIPWRECK AND FALCON!!!" Duke bellowed "SNAP TO"  
  
The two soldiers immediately stood rigid at attention, their differences forgotten in the face of the general's ire. The Sergeant was in their faces in three long strides.  
  
"Are you two ARGUING? Talking while the general…your CO…is speaking?" He spat, "Do you not have an ounce of sense in that head of yours, Falcon?"  
  
Shipreck smirked, but immediately wiped it off as Duke swung around and fixed him with his ice blue eyes  
  
"AND YOU…I don't know how many times I have to go through this with you!" Duke barked, "In fact, the only reason you are still here is because you can fight like a demon and Flint wants you on the team. Although I wonder if that is going to remain the case when he finds out who is behind this whole thing."  
  
"That is what I was just saying…" Falcon piped up only to be shot down in mid sentence.  
  
"Oh…you are just as guilty you arrogant little….ARGH!…You still haven't learned to keep it in your pants, have you?"  
  
"But Conrad…"  
  
"SHUT IT SOLDIER. This is a TEAM…you WILL learn to work with your fellow Joes. You will treat them with respect. You brought his upon yourself. If Flint hadn't pummeled you someone else would have sooner or later. Although I am definitely less than thrilled that one of my senior officers and the third in command of this outfit chose to take the bait."  
  
Duke turned to the group of Joes.  
  
"All of you…get your sorry butts out of my site! I expect you to pick up the cleaning supplies at 0400 tomorrow and get to work on the bathrooms ASAP. Shipwreck, Falcon…stay where you are."  
  
"Umm General Hawk...sir " Shipwreck started when the others were gone, flinching as the irate general turned towards him, his face a mask. "Flint isn't going to get in trouble over this, is he…"  
  
"Starting to feel a little guilty, Hector?" Hawk spoke…it wasn't a question. "As much as he was goaded into this I can't have my Third flying off the handle every time someone goes near his partner, can I?"  
  
"No…Flint is in trouble. But it's not me who is going to mete out his punishment. And from the look in his eyes when I sent him off, I think he would rather face a division of COBRA troops than Lady Jaye right now." The general sat down on his chair and leaned back, "I almost feel sorry for the guy…but as I told him…shit or get off the pot."  
  
"I'm dead…" Shipwreck moaned.  
  
"Oh yeah." Hawk leaned forward and grinned evilly, "If I were you I would avoid Flint for the next little while. Not that it's going to be a problem where you are heading…"  
  
"Falcon, Shipwreck…you two are going to learn to work together, and respect each other even if it kills you. And with that in mind…both of you are off for a month in the Slaughterhouse."  
  
"WHAT!?" Shipwreck's eyes grew wide. "Oh god oh god oh god…"  
  
"You can't be serious…" Falcon looked at his brother, "Duke…I had nothing to do with this…"  
  
"Like hell you didn't!" Duke smiled but there was no humor in it, "You have A LOT to learn little brother."  
  
"The Sarge is expecting you both early tomorrow morning. Now go and pack your bags…DISMISSED!"  
  
After the two dejected Joes had left the office and closed the door behind them, Duke sighed and shook his head.  
  
"I can't believe I am related to him."  
  
"I don't know…I seem to remember two cocky arrogant young soldiers appearing on my doorstep a few years ago. One a full of himself blond and the other an arrogant, beret clad ladies man."  
  
"We weren't that bad…" Duke frowned and Hawk laughed softly.  
  
"Yeah…RIGHT. I don't know which one of you was worse." The General smiled and leaned back in his chair, "By the way…who ended up winning that pool?"  
  
Duke smiled and shook his head. "You wouldn't believe it if I told you…"  
  
************************************************************************  
  
"Stand STILL…"  
  
"ow…ow…OW!"  
  
"Don't be such a baby…I'm just cleaning it." Lady Jaye grabbed Flint by the arm and pulled him back down onto the bed in the infirmary and continued to dab the cut over his eye with disinfectant.  
  
"God woman…GENTLE! Where did you learn first aid, Buchenwald?"  
  
"Oh…so the great Flint has finally found his voice?" she snapped, " I guess that little testosterone showdown turned your brain back on…at least one of your brains."  
  
Flint was still wearing only sweatpants and his dog tags as he sat rigid on the examining table while his partner went over his injuries, and unfortunately, his body wasn't the only thing that was becoming rigid…She was in a tight fitting white tee shirt and shorts, and her proximity to him was beginning to affect his body in the usual way.  
  
"Very funny…" he crossed his legs nonchalantly but if she hadn't noticed the tell tale sign in his lower area, the blush was certainly going to give it away "…for your information I was defending your honor…"  
  
"I can defend my honor perfectly well myself and you know it. That whole thing was about one thing and one thing only…your bloody pride."  
  
"PRIDE! I don't think you…" He stopped mid sentence as her hands made their way to his bare chest. He pulled back so sharply he fell off the table.  
  
"WHAT THE HELL IS A MATTER WITH YOU LATELY!?"  
  
She looked over the table to find Flint lying in a heap on the floor.  
  
"I felt…I mean I saw…I thought I saw a spider."  
  
"A spider…"  
  
"Ummmm…yeah" he managed as he sheepishly pulled himself up and back onto the bed.  
  
Lady Jaye shook her head and sighed and this time he managed to remain in place as she continued to examine his wounds…gently, softly…unconsciously, he felt his body start to relax under her ministrations…  
  
WHACK!  
  
"OW! What the hell was that for!!!" His hand flew to the place on the back of his head where she had struck him.  
  
"YOUR GIRL?"  
  
"Oh…heh heh…ummm…well…"  
  
"You are getting that 'deer caught in the headlights' looks again, Flint." Her eyes narrowed, "spit it out."  
  
"Well…ummm…you see…I got a little jealous."  
  
"A little jealous?"  
  
"And he was coming on to you so strongly…"  
  
"Go on…"  
  
"And I didn't want him to have you."  
  
The silence in the room was deafening.  
  
"And is that what happened with Ron Michaels?"  
  
Flint nodded.  
  
"And Matthew Burke?"  
  
He nodded again, his eyes downcast.  
  
"And Alpine…"  
  
"Come on, I am not THAT bad…"  
  
"No, you are one hundred times worse." She moved forward and resumed treating his wounds. "God Flint…you don't want me, but no one else can have me…is that it?"  
  
"I never said…"  
  
"No, you never say anything lately without stumbling over the words and then running off. I thought we were best friends…"  
  
"We were…we are…Jaye…Allie…" he struggled over the words as she watched him intently. "I just…I can't…" Flint stopped and stared at her for a moment, his eyes darting to the door and back to her then back to the door.  
  
"Are you looking for an escape?"  
  
"No…no…." he paused and looked down at his feet. "Yes…OW! Stop that!"  
  
"Damn it Flint…what happened to us? Why are you like this lately?"  
  
"Because I'm mrph mumble murph…" he mumbled the last words under his breath.  
  
"I don't speak gibberish Flint…"  
  
"Because I'm in love with you…damn it." He moved his hand to indicate where she had punched him hard…"although at the moment I am seriously reconsidering…"  
  
"What? You…I …we…how…" Lady Jaye stood stunned as a grin slowly formed on Flint's face.  
  
"Ah…who's speaking gibberish now?" Flint shook his head, "So…now you know. The question is what are we going to do about it?"  
  
She looked up at him and grinned. "I'M not going to DO anything…"  
  
He frowned, sadness creeping into the corner of his eyes before she moved forward and gently kissed him on the forehead.  
  
"You…on the other hand…are taking me out to dinner and a night on the town."  
  
"I am?"  
  
"Yes you are…" as he watched her, his eyebrow raised in curiosity, she reached into her pocket and pulled out a wad of cash, "…on Navy's dime."  
  
"Where did you…?" a lopsided grin slowly began to form on his face as he realized what she had done "…you played us all, you little imp."  
  
"Hey…he was challenging Army? I just reminded him of the supremacy of the 'Army of One'…those Squids never had a chance."  
  
"Neither did I it seems…"  
  
"Nope…not from the day I met you, pretty boy. You forgot the cardinal rule…never underestimate the power of a woman in love…"  
  
"In love?" He got up and reached for he, but she nimbly danced out of his reach.  
  
"Very much so…"  
  
"With anyone in particular?" He growled as he tried to catch her again but she was too fast.  
  
"Hmmm…you might know him…tall, dark, handsome…wears a beret…code name starts with an F…"  
  
"Not Falcon, I hope…" He caught her finally and drew her in to his embrace.  
  
"You'll just have to find out who it is over dinner now, won't you?" She leaned forward and kissed him passionately then extricated herself from his arms and walked out the door.  
  
Flint stood there staring at her retreating form before shaking his head and smiling.  
  
"Go Army…" 


End file.
